The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
