apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
