shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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