She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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