I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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