:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
