How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
