I molested 6 butterflies tonight
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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