Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
