You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
