Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
