Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Randomize
