That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
