Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈ðŸ˜
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
