If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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