If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
