you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
