my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I showed him my bush... on skype.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Randomize