It's just like the Real World with babies
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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