Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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