Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
