Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
