He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
