My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
