Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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