You don't have asthma, your pregnant
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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