So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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