The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
