Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
