At least make sure they are 18
Why
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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