Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
