forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
