mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
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