If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
