Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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