I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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