Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
