Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I am one with the molecules
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
