the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize