Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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