No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
