no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
