we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
