it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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