im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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