i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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