Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Vodka?
Forever.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
