You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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