pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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