so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Randomize
