I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
