The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
