you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
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