i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
