is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
