I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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