omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
